I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
do u guys really not get the joke omg
My offer just sent me an adorable revision guide and I think it included a condom
it was a tea bag
ok but consider this
1. stop startin shit w ppl on tumblr for no reason
2. wash your ass
3. get a plant
4. listen to smooth jazz
6. keep chillin
7. dont ever stop chillin
The leg up at the end tho.
I like the coach, putting his hands on his knees like, “Welp, that wasn’t it.”
"What’s your favorite color?"
- i find it pretty fucking inconsiderate that my grandchildren haven’t used time travel to visit me.
- and frankly, i’m a bit offended.
- AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU GRANDCHILDREN?
- WELL FUCK YOU
- MAYBE I WON’T EVEN HAVE KIDS AND YOU WON’T EXIST
- HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT
what if we have tho
what if we just didn’t know they were our grandkids
what if your best friend has to constantly remind themselves not to call you grandma/grandpa
now this is what Im talkin about
So you like sick ducks do you? Does laughing at sick, bloated ducks make you feel like a big man?? If this is the kind of web content you like then you sir are a miserable waif
it’s physically impossible to fit words into a venn diagram
drake & josh
drake helps josh w/ a crush
drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans